Girl On Fire
by DrunkenPhilosophies
Summary: The story of Mockingjay told through the eyes of Peeta Mellark.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER 1**

"So... Peeta... welcome back." Caesar Flickermans blue hair shines bright in the spotlights.

"I bet you thought you'd done your last interview with me, Caesar." I say wryly.

"I confess, I did. The night before the Quarter Quell... well, who ever thought we'd see you again?" He turns to the audience and they sound an agreeing tone.

"It wasn't part of my plan, that's for sure." This is true. I wasn't the only one making plans. However I was alone with my plan.

"I think it was clear to all of us what your plan was. To sacrifice yourself in the arena so that Katniss Everdeen and your child could survive." Caesar says.

"That was it. Clear and simple. But other people had plans as well."

"Why don't you tell us about that last night in the arena? Help us sort a few things out."

I hesitate for a moment thinking if this is the right crowd to hear what I'm about to say. They have seen every bit of what happened in the arena but they don't know anything of what it's like. "That last night... To tell you about that last night... well, first of all, you have to imagine how it felt in the arena. It was like being an insect trapped under a bowl filled with steaming air. And all around you, jungle... green and alive and ticking. That giant clock ticking away your life. Every hour promising some new horror. You have to imagine that in the past two days, sixteen people have died – some of them defending you. At the rate things are going, the last eight will be dead by morning. Save one. The victor. And your plan is that it wont be you. Once you're in the arena, the rest of the world becomes very distant. All the people and things you loved or cared about almost cease to exist. The pink sky and the monsters in the jungle and the tributes who want your blood become your final reality, the only one that ever mattered. As bad as it makes you feel, you're going to have to do some killing, because in the arena, you only ever get one wish. And it's very costly."

It's quiet. The room is filled with thousands of people yet you can hear nothing. It's as if everyone held their breath simultaneously. They have never heard anyone talk about their experiences in the Games. May it be the first and the last time.

"It costs your life." Caesar breaks the silence.

I twist my head in Caesars direction. "Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people? It costs everything you are."

"Everything you are." Caesar echoes.

"So you hold on to your wish. And that last night, yes, my wish was to save Katniss. But even without knowing about the rebels, it didn't feel right. Everything was too complicated. I found myself regretting I hadn't run off with her earlier in the day, as she had suggested. But there was no getting out of it at that point."

"You were too caught up in Beetee's plan to electrify the salt lake."

"Too busy playing allies with the others. I should have never let them separate us! That's when I lost her." A tremble has built up in my hands.

"When you stayed at the lightning tree, and she and Johanna Mason took the coil of wire down to the water." Caesar clarifies.

"I didn't want to!" I shout at Caesar. "But I couldn't argue with Beetee without indicating we were about to break away from the alliance. When that wire was cut, everything just went insane. I can only remember bits and pieces. Trying to find her. Watching Brutus kill Chaff. Killing Brutus myself. I know she was calling my name. Then the lightning bolt hit the tree, and the force field around the arena... blew out."

"Katniss blew it out, Peeta. You've seen the footage." He says sincerely.

"She didn't know what she was doing. None of us could follow Beetee's plan. You can see her trying to figure out what to do with that wire." I snap.

"All right. It just looks suspicious. As if she was a part of the rebels' plan all along." He says indifferently.

"Really?" I yell at him now. "And was it part of her plan for Johanna to nearly kill her? For that electric shock to paralyze her? To trigger the bombing? She didn't know, Caesar! Neither of us knew anything except that we were trying to keep each other alive!"

"Okay, Peeta, I believe you." He uses his shielding arm to gently nudge me away.

"Okay." I oblige and sit down.

"What about your mentor, Haymitch Abernathy?" Caesar asks.

"I don't know what Haymitch knew." I glance at him.

"Could he have been part of the conspiracy?"

"He never mentioned it."

Caesar leans forward. "What does your heart tell you?"

"That I shouldn't have trusted him. That's all" I spit out.

Caesar pats my shoulder reassuringly. "We can stop now if you want."

"Was there more to discuss?"

"I was going to ask your thoughts on the war, but if you're too upset..."

"Oh, I'm not too upset to answer that." I find a camera to speak to. "I want everyone watching – whether you're on the Capitol or rebel side – to stop for just a moment and think about what this war could mean. For human beings. We almost went extinct fighting one another before. Now our numbers are even fewer. Our conditions more tenuous. Is this really what we want to do? Kill ourselves off completely? In the hopes that – what? Some decent species will inherit the smoking remains of the earth?"

"I don't really... I'm not really sure I'm following..."

"We can't fight one another, Caesar. There won't be enough of us left to keep going. If everybody doesn't lay down their weapons – and I mean, as in very soon – it's all over, anyway."

"So... you're calling for a cease-fire?"

"Yes I'm calling for a cease-fire," I slump down in my chair. "Now why don't we ask the guards to take me back to my quarters so I can build another hundred card houses?"


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER 2**

Tonight's menu consists of freshly cooked lamb stew. It's Katniss' favorite Capitol dish. She would eat it anytime it was available, saving the plums for last. Right above me on the roof of the quarters, we had a picnic before the Quarter Quell. Haymitch and Effie had left us on our own for the entire day so we decided to make the most of it. We grabbed blankets, pillows, food and headed above. The flower garden was blossoming and filled with exotic plants. Wind chimes sang in the breeze while I drew Katniss practicing her knots. Late in the afternoon I awoke Katniss to witness the sunset. She rose from my lap and rested her head on my shoulder while we watched the colors dance around the orange clouds.

_"Because she came here with me."_

Two years ago I had said that during my first interview. People were touched. I didn't have to lie. I truly had loved her since I first saw her. It was the first day of school. _"I loved that girl's mother, but she ran away with a coal miner,"_ my father had said. One day there was a wrestling tournament in school. I came second place before my brother. I had seen those two brunette braids among the crowds, I would see those braids everywhere. Once at music assembly she sang the valley song. I could swear the birds fell silent at the sound of her voice.

One night she was outside of my parents bakery, searching through our trash bins. It was just a few months after an accident had occurred in the mines. Her father had died and she looked weak and withered. My mother, furious, stormed outside into the rain and called her off. I looked through the window as she cowered away, collapsing under a tree nearby, soaked and defeated. I was preparing a loaf of bread in the oven but let it overcook. As my mother entered the bakery again she smelled the burn instantly. I was beaten and sent out into the rain to give the loaves to the pigs. I threw one into the pen under mother's supervision, and another one to the tree when she didn't look. Katniss and I locked eyes for a moment and for the first time I didn't look away.

The very next day I saw Katniss and her sister Prim leaving school just as usual but for some reason she bowed down. Prim let go of her sister's hand and danced around the fields with her blond braids waving through the summer winds. Katniss stood again with a dandelion in her hand, single braid in her hair. On the faithful day of the reaping I had to witness the sisters part ways for, most certainly forever. Then I had to witness my own family, do nothing. One of my brothers was still young enough to volunteer in my place, but instead none of them moved an inch and said their goodbyes without any remorse. Mother said, "Twelve might finally have a winner." But she didn't mean me. Suddenly I stood face-to-face with the love of my life, and I couldn't have wished for worse.

_"But only because someone helped me."_

_"People will help you in the arena. They'll be tripping over each other to sponsor you."_

_"No more than you."_

_"She has no idea. The effect she can have."_

During training Katniss shot an arrow at the gamemakers, earning her an 11 for her display of courage. During the interview I had told everyone I loved Katniss. Enter Katniss the vengeful. She said it made her look weak, Haymitch said desirable. Suddenly we were the star-crossed lovers, I couldn't sleep that night. My hands were bugging me, but I was also nervous for the next day. Katniss couldn't fall asleep either. She came and sat beside me to watch people on the streets celebrate the twenty-four new tributes. _"I wish I could think of a way to show the Capitol that they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games."_ I had said. _"But you're not."_

Once in the arena it was a free for all. Me being from the same district as Katniss I offered to help the careers find her in exchange for my life temporarily. The star-crossed lovers thing seemed dead already. Not long after, we chased her up a tree. The careers failed to catch her so I suggested we wait for her to come down, or starve.

_Thud!_ While asleep she had dumped a hornet's nest on us. I ran for the river trying to swat the hundreds of tracker jackers after me. I suffered ten stings but was determined to warn Katniss and outrun the careers. I took a head start into the jungle, finding her just standing around next to one of the bodies. "_Get out of here!"_ I yelled whilst everything turned shiny and glistening. A huge blade crossed my vision and hacked me in the leg. A big glowing brute fought me until I wounded him and ran off. I hid near a river for what felt like days and painted myself like a rock as camouflage.

_"Peeta."_ I heard a faint voice. _"Well, don't step on me."_ A rule change had been made allowing two tributes from the same district to win. Hope was reignited and the star-crossed lovers were back. We kissed hundreds of times, only for me to later find out it was all a game. In the end Katniss and I were the last two standing. Then the most devious of things happened. The rule was revoked and we were left in a stalemate. Both insisted the other should live, but none could. Instead Katniss brought up the berries that killed Foxface. We would eat them together, and we would die together.

_"I'm not glad."_

_"Surely even a brief time is better than no time?"_

_"Maybe I'd think that, too, Caesar. If it weren't for the baby."_

A year ago, I had said that. The city rioted. Unfortunately, the Games were still on. We had done everything in our power to stop it. We held the Capitol accountable for their atrocities, I painted Rue in front of the gamemakers and Katniss hung Seneca Crane. We got a score of 12 for the first time in the history of the Hunger Games and became targets. They used everything against us, and so would we. Katniss wore the wedding dress that she would have had on our fake wedding to the pre-games interview. On-stage she showed us the true girl on fire and the Mockingjay which Cinna had created. I had said that we did get married, and we had a baby. How right and wrong is it for the people who encourage teenagers to fight to the death, to disapprove of killing a pregnant one. As a last ditch effort we held our hands in unison before the broadcast cut out, but no amount of defiance would prove to be effective in stopping the Games. After all, this was no ordinary Games. This was a public execution.

Almost immediately I had to fight for my life. Not long after I almost lost it, but thanks to Finnick I could embrace Katniss again. Why he saved me, I do not know. We've never known each other let alone exchanged more than a few words, and we would only be allies for a short period of time until one of us would eventually die or have to kill one another. Maybe he just did it to gain Katniss' trust. I was grateful however but Katniss stayed doubtful even when Mags sacrificed herself for me. Finnick had only Annie left after that. The morphling sacrificed herself for me too. For some reason they all tried to keep me alive.

_"If you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls."_ Katniss and I laughed. Poor clueless Effie. I gave Katniss a pearl I found and the locket from Effie. In the locket were pictures of Katniss' family and Gale. She was determined to give her own life for me, it became apparent the night after the picnic. I used these gifts to try and change her mind. She has her family, I have nothing. All I have is her. I can't live without her. But she already made up her mind and let everyone go. At nightfall we left for the lightning tree, that was the last time I saw her.

I still don't know what happened to Katniss. She once told me back in Twelve that she had heard of District 13, and that it still existed. Haymitch just laughed. District 13 was a ruin, blasted to hell by the Capitol during the Dark Days; the original reason for the Hunger Games in the first place. She was desperate enough to ask me to come with her. I said yes. I'd do anything to protect her. And she me.

"Come on," a male voice says. "It's time for departure." That same raspy voice belongs to Katniss' aggressor. Haymitch intervened and prevented Gale from bleeding to death. Commander Thread threatened to have us executed.

_"Look, Katniss. I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."_

_"I'm sorry too."_

_"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just being friends."_

_"Okay."_

_"Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life to save mine... but I don't know what your favorite color is?"_

_"Green. What's yours?"_

_"Orange."_

_"Orange? Like Effie's hair?"_

_"More like... sunset."_

The train rides along the tracks at the speed of a bolted arrow, turning passing woods into green flashes. Everything ahead seems to turn into a tunnel, leading us to the arrow's target. Many anxious moments were experienced here. Not just by Katniss and me, but by all the previous tributes. All the hopeless kids from Twelve, retaining no hope for their lives, just awaiting their death. I experienced this twice.

_"What do you think?"_

_"I hate them."_

_"I see them every night."_

_"Me, too. Does it help to paint them out?"_

_"I don't know. I think I'm a little less afraid of going to sleep at night. But they haven't gone anywhere."_

_"Maybe they won't. Haymitch's haven't."_

_"No. But for me, it's better to wake up with a paintbrush than a knife in my hand."_

Katniss would get such horrific dreams that would awaken me several times every night. I would come running to find her sitting straight up in bed, screaming her lungs out. She asked me to be there with her when the nightmares came. We spent many nights like this. I calmed her down until she realized where she was so she could reluctantly fall back asleep. I would recieve nightmares too. I just wouldn't wake up screaming, and seeing her was enough to comfort me. Knowing that she was safe was all I needed. It must be horrible to have other people you love be out of your reach and not knowing if they were okay.

_"Stay with me."_ She plead.

_"Always."_


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER****3**

"Where is she?!"

Another crack of the whip brings me closer to the wall. "I don't know!"

"Stupid kid." He raises his arm and gets ready to fire off another lash.

"Wait. Don't use that." A man grabs the whip from Thread's hand and curls his fist. "Just don't aim for the face." The guards approach me as I shuffle away.

"Stop." echoes a voice from behind.

"What now!" they both yell.

"Snow ordered these." A bound man and woman with ginger hair are shoved to the ground.

"What're we supposed to do with them?" they ask.

"You know exactly what to do." the faceless voice leaves.

The guards look down at me, smiling as they walk over to the two redheads. "Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

"Darius and Lavinia. They must be real fancy avoxes to get nametags. Servants to some real high up snob."

"They were our avoxes." I whimper.

"What?" Thread shouts.

I straighten out against the wall and repeat myself. "They were our servants."

"I'll be damned," Thread chuckles. "We've got ourselves a real party then."

They pick up the avoxes by the scruff of their necks and march them across the square room to a pair of chairs. The men are heavily built and not wearing nearly as extragavant outfits as the typical Capitol resident. They have no physical alterations and both bear a sadistic expression. I stand up slowly in pain and dust myself off only to have a fist connect to my skull.

"Stay down!" Thread shouts.

"I told you not to hit 'im in the face!" the man calls.

"Why? What good's it gonna do him?"

"None. It's not for his sake, now shut up and help me with these."

The men work on the chairs while I try in vain to get closer. Suddenly the guards move away. Darius and Lavinia are each tied down and hooked up to a bunch of wires, not really moving at all. They seem exhausted.

"Now, I'll give you another chance," Thread turns to me. "Where... is she?"

"I-I don't know. I already told you." I try.

"Poor choice of words. Hit it." Thread signals. Sparks fly. Lightning flashes. Before me is a sight I'll never forget. Lavinia sits in the chair, shaking violently.

"Alright, that's enough." Thread commands.

"It won't budge!" the man responds.

"What?"

"I can't turn it off!"

Lavinia emits a horrible, gutteral noise as blood pours through her nose and ears. Darius who sits beside her is frozen in shock. And just like that, it's over.

"Oh my god." A female voice whispers beside me. I can't take away my eyes from the lifeless body to investigate who it might be. I look slightly across to Darius, and we lock eyes for a moment. His are filled with despair, then they dart over to the two approaching guards.

"Looks like you're gonna have to take the beating for two." Thread says. Darius struggles in his seat.

"If Mr. Mellark won't tell us anything, you will." the man says. Darius just shakes his head violently and flails around crazily with his legs.

"Oh, man. This guy doesn't wanna cooperate at all," Thread says with a twisted smile. "I think we'd better amend that. Did you fix the voltage this time? And the damn switch won't get stuck again?"

"Just focus on yourself," the man gets ready to turn on the device again. Darius follows him with begging eyes.

"Only lookin' out for the both of us."

The machine sparks on again. Not wanting to witness the same thing twice I turn away to face the concrete wall. The light flickers and creates menacing shadows. The two men laugh as Darius makes the same kind of horrible noises as his lover did. The torture goes on for hours. Beating with hard objects, sounds of teeth hitting the ground. The crack of bones shattering and blood splattering. Not once does he cry out, and if he could, his bloodcurling scream would be enough to keep a man awake for months.

After it had been silent for far too long I dare release my ears.

"He's gone," one of them says.

I turn around slowly to see the blood stained floor and am greeted with the smell of decay. I wipe the tears off my face and look across the room. The men are leaving me in the same room with the rotting corpse of Darius. I throw up in a corner of the room when suddenly I hear a female scream. I panic.

"Katniss!"


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

_"Promise me, Peeta. You will do this."_

_"Yes."_

_"If I hear one small deviance, it'll be the end of it."_

_"I understand."_

_"She dies."_

_"I... know."_

_"You mustn't fail me. For her sake. For our sake."_

_"I call for cease-fire."_

_"That's right."_

_"For her safety. I shall."_

I can't run. I am sore and aching and my iron leg is slowing me down. Any weight I gained before the arena has been lost and then some. One blow to the face in past days would've just let me shake it off, but now it's pulsating against my forehead as I can feel it getting bigger. I mustn't focus on the pain. I've only one goal in my mind. To save Katniss. The further I come down the hall the louder the screams become and the faster I move. I turn the corner with such ferocity that I slip and fall just at the cell door. At the other side I can hear the whip dragging across the floor.

"Where is she?" Thread asks. That same question comes up again and again. I couldn't answer it so Darius and Lavinia had to pay with their lives and now their death is on my conscience. I crawl up the cell door and grab one of the bars in the window to heave myself up. I get ready to bust through when I hear the response.

"She's in District 13." Johanna spits.

I force the door open and land on my bruised face. The men quickly grab and escort me back to the hallway and into the central room with the deceased avoxes. I hold back a gag reflex as I'm tossed into my cell. Shortly after, I hear commotion outside. Johanna is being dragged back as well, she recieves a hard landing in the cell next to mine whilst the guards promptly lock her door and leave.

"What's going on, Johanna?" I ask when it's clear.

"Give me a break will you?" she snarls in obvious pain. I give her half a second more than I can bear as she regains her composure.

"What's happening?" I finally give in.

"Don't you get it?" she says. "President Snow is unhappy. You didn't do your part."

"What are you talking about? I did everything he told me to do!"

"But it didn't work."

"So he's punishing me. But why you?"

"I can't tell you that, Peeta," I can't see through walls but I can almost sense her shaking her head in disbelief. "If I do, they'll torture you even more for information that you would then have. They've realized that you don't know where Katniss is but they had to do something to make you feel guilty. They still believe you have more information."

"About what?" When I don't get a response I start rattling the bars. "About what, Johanna?"

"Nothing." She snarls.

After a worriesome sleep, I'm awoken by the entrance opening between our cells. I peek through the barred window. Out steps a corpulent, aristocratic man dressed in a tuxedo and top hat. He walks to the center of the room where the avoxes were previously. The man starts singing a song while adjusting his monocle.

_"Are you, are you, coming to the tree?"_

As he reaches the far end of the room he bangs on a cell door with deliberate fists. A female is heard crying.

"Leave her alone!" a woman shouts from another cell while the man simply ignores her. She has a dark complexion. Face pressed against the bars, her teeth are exposed and reveal they are filed into fangs. It's Enobaria.

"Johanna," I whisper. "Why is she here?"

"They got her along with the rest of us. They probably think she has information about..."

"About what, Johanna? And what do you mean the rest of us?"

"Stop asking so many questions," she growls.

A large chain with multiple keys is brought out of the man's pocket. He immediately finds the right one and places it within the keyhole and twists it, all in one swift motion. The door flies open by his precise hands. "Morning, darling. It's time." His voice is raw and thick. Out of the dark steps a fragile being, she is only covered by a few cloth pieces and has a nervous tremor in her whole body. It's Annie.


End file.
